Happy Turkey Day...

>> Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Just wanted to let you all know, that I hope you enjoy the Thanksgiving weekend of sports, but I'll be out of town until Sunday, so no updates until then.

See you all on Sunday!

Thanks,
Derrick

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The PMB's FBS Top 25

>> Sunday, November 22, 2009





The ridiculousness that has been the 2009 FBS CFB season is nearing a conclusion and there are still an impressive 6 teams sitting with undefeated records.

Here is this weeks PMB Top 25...

1. Alabama
2. Florida
3. Texas
4. Texas Christian
5. Boise State
6. Cincinnati
7. Oregon
8. Pittsburgh
9. Georgia Tech
10. Ole Miss
11. Ohio State
12. LSU
13. Oklahoma State
14. Penn State
15. Iowa
16. Clemson
17. Oregon State
18. Virginia Tech
19. Utah
20. Miami
21. North Carolina
22. Northwestern
23. Nebraska
24. Central Michigan
25. USC

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Les Miles is a Terrible Liar...

The big story of yesterday involved the ineptitude and ridiculous decision making enforced by the LSU football staff.

The question? Who in their right mind told Jefferson to spike the ball with one second on the clock?

Les Miles has vehemently denied telling Jordan Jefferson to spike the ball, but sportsbybrooks.com has brought the evidence!



The video evidence has also made its way to youtube!




Now, the question remains, does Les Miles admit his mistake? Or does he continue to lay the blame upon his player and throw him under the proverbial bus even with the evidence hitting the internet at 200 miles an hour?

I expect Les to make the wrong decision and mess this up, just like he does on a regular basis.

Courtesy of Sports By Brooks

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Chubby of the Day...



Enjoy.

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What a Day of College Football!



The majority of us were expecting a terribly boring Saturday of college football yesterday....

What we ended up with, was one of the better weekends of the season! Sure, I may be partial because my Kentucky Wildcats knocked of the Uga-less Bulldogs in Athens for the first time since 1977, but there was plenty of other good football played....It's time for your Post-Saturday notebook!

--Sure, we give Charlie Weis' fat ass a hard time here at The PMB, and it is usually deserved, but yesterday is a day that no coach wants to experience. Charlie has the support of his players, but ultimately you have to win football games in South Bend to remain the coach. Weis failed to do so, and now the coaching search will begin in South Bend. Who is the front runner? Do they aim high and try to reach out to Urban Meyer or Bobby Stoops? In the end, if they strike out with their high-priority targets, does Brian Kelly get the call he's been wating for from a big name university?

--What can you say about PawPaw Brooks and the job he has done at the University of Kentucky. Sure, he's watered down the schedule and his coordinators can drive the Big Blue faithful insane with their conservative style, at times. However, Brooks now has the Wildcats sitting pretty at 7-4 and a chance to finish second in the SEC East with a victory over the hated Volunteers from Knoxville. The Wildcats have stopped two streaks (@Aub and @UGA) this season and a New Years Day bowl is within their grasp. Time to step up to the plate and end the streak to the Vols.

--Les Miles....is there another coach in America who manages to out-stupid Billy Clyde Gillispie on a weekly basis? This man makes nearly 4 million dollars to coach some of the most talented players in America and, well, he still manages to screw it up on the weekly! FARRRRRRR Les Miles!

--Did anyone else hear Lou Holtz say bitch on the Scoreboard Show last night? Lou is always the epitome of entertainment, and last night his Notre Dame rant was youtube worthy!

--Big Ten football. Need I say more?

--Clemson vs. Georgia Tech for the ACC Championship? You think thats what the ACC commish had in mind when he raided the Big East conference?

--Is it just me or has the Pac-10 been much more exciting without having to see Pete Carroll's big nose all over the television? The Oregon-Arizona game was something to behold last night, and I hope you stayed up to watch it!

--Plain and simple, TCU is a legit football team and should be in the thick of the discussion for the BCS championship. They would give all the top 3 teams a run for their money and more!

--Ryan Mallet is a future NFL stud, folks. Watch this kid play and you'll agree. He has ALL the tools to be a future NFL superstar.

Time to watch my Redskins go 3 and out on a consistent basis and get destroyed by the Cowboys. Happy Sunday, everyone.

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R.I.P Charlie! We'll Miss You and You're FUPA.

>> Saturday, November 21, 2009



Oh, Charlie. It was fun.

You provided us with fat humor that only Mark Mangino and his ridiculous temper can rival.

Sure, you were an absolute disaster as the coach at Notre Dame, but that doesn't mean we won't miss you! Actually, it means we'll miss you much more! When Notre Dame is terrible, all is better in the world of the BCS and college football, and, with you at the helm, we didn't have to worry about them crashing the party.

I'm going to miss you, Charlie. I'm going to miss your extreme fatness. I'm going to miss your terrible sense of humor and I'm going to miss watching your husky ass squirm when posed an uncomfortable question regarding your future.

I'm assuming that South Bend restaurants are going to miss you, as well, Charlie. You have the look of a nervous eater, Charlie, and lord knows you've been nervous over the last several seasons. I hope Sorin's and Polito's can stay in business with your exit.

So, everybody raise your twinkie and/or oatmeal pie and let's have a toast to Charlie Weis.

Your fatness may never be seen again!

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OT: Travis Barker Mixes Up

>> Thursday, November 19, 2009

We tend to go off topic on occasion, but this video warrants a posting! Forever is the hottest song out right now and Travis Barker has remixed it and its diiiiiirty....check it.

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Tweetin' Like a Champ...





Guys, I just wanted to let you know that we are really utilizing our Twitter Account these days and we want you to follow us!

We're tweetin' enough that it would even make Mark Mangino proud!

So, get to followin us!

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Tobias Harris to UT....




The #5 ranked player in the country, according to rivals.com, Tobias Harris has made his collegiate choice.

Harris, a five-star power forward from Dix Hills, NY, has had a very publicized and busy recruitment and finalized his recruitment with a bang by arriving at his ESPNU signing in a stretch limo (courtesy of Jeff Goodman Tweet).

Harris' choice of Bruce Pearl and the Volunteers adds even more talent to an ever improving Tennessee program, and shows that Sweaty Bruce isn't going to lay down let Calipari run roughshod throughout the SEC.

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Volleyball Booty of the Week Returns!!



Now that I'm back to blogging on the daily, I thought it was time to bring back one of the features that made us popular in the beginning!

Welcome back the Volleyball Booty of the Week!

Enjoy.

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Terrence Jones, Stayin Home?

>> Wednesday, November 18, 2009



Terrence Jones, the 13th ranked recruit in the country (Rivals.com), has been flirting with the possibility of leaving the left coast, specifically for the friendly confines of Lexington, Kentucky.

However, stories are beginning to surface that lead one to believe that home is where his heart truly lies.

Jones, whom is considered a perfect fit for the DDMO offense, would thrive in a system such as Calipari's, but if the early reports hold true, Jones will remain close to home and choose one of the Pac-10 powers he has been considering.

Calipari and company better hope that C.J. Leslie decides to follow John Walls foot steps and head to Kentucky, or they're going to lose out on all of their primary big-man targets!

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Spamalicious!





What's up folks! Time for your weekly spam post!

The PMB Store now has over 60 items to choose from! We have plenty of team based tee's for college and the NFL and several humorous off-topic t-shirts are starting to make their way onto the website....

Then, the usual links!
The PMB's Twitter! Updated on every post!
Become a Facebook fan
The PMB Myspace!


Have a good one,
Derrick

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Chubby of the Day...



Malin Akerman, FTW.

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The King Could Save the Browns....





Lebron James in a Cleveland Browns uniform?

We all know it'll never happen, but Cleveland fans and even Mangenius can dream can't they?

Lebron is the most freakish athlete in the world right now, and the though of a 6'8", 250 pound TE with sub 4.5 speed running at you is a rather incredible thought, right? Oh wait. We already have that guys...his name? Vernon Davis!

So, lets stop all this crap about not ever seeing someone with Lebron's freakish nature on the football field. However, the thought of Lebron James lining up wide for the Browns is rather intriguing.

You think Brady Quinn or Derek Anderson could manage to get him the ball? I doubt it!

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Chubby of the Day

>> Monday, November 16, 2009



If Audrina Patridge doesn't get a rise out of you....well, you're a fag.

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Are You Ready?



They say he's better than Derrick Rose. His youtube highlights have become legendary. He's projected as the number one pick in next years NBA draft (nbadraft.net).

His name? John Wall.

The most ballyhooed recruit to grace the hardwood residing within the confines of Rupp Arena since Jamal Mashburn makes his debut tonight, and its time to see what all the hype is about.

Sure, we got a glimpse with a ridiculous stat-line in his exhibition versus Clarion, but I could score 14 and grab 6 boards against that squad. Tonight Wall laces them up against a game Miami(OH) Redhawks team, and if you have FSN, you need to be watching.

Here's a little taste of what Mr. Wall brings to the table.



Enjoy folks, because that kind of talent will only be around for one season!

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Brandon Knight Has a Top 3??

>> Sunday, November 15, 2009





Harrison Barnes, whom some services consider the #1 recruit in the country, made his choice of UNC this past weekend, and now it's time to start seeing where exactly Brandon Knight may end up.

Brandon, the #1 recruit in the country according to rivals.com, apparently has settled on a top three. According to a source close to the Knight camp, Kentucky, Florida and Kansas are the top three teams in the running for his services.

If this source holds true, UCONN fans may be in for a shock, because they felt that they had an excellent chance at landing Brandon. Should be an interesting spring with the Knight recruitment!

For those of you that haven't seen Mr. Knight on the court...check it.

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Manny Pacquiao Will Fuck You Up...



Floyd Mayweather, Jr....do you see this picture? Is this why you keep ducking the Filipino assassin?

I can't say that I blame you....I don't think I would want that hyper little bitch to turn my face into his personal punching bag either!

Damn!

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HAHAHHAHAAH *Breathe* HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH



No, folks....that is not the Slovenia national team. That is your 2009-2010 Duke Blue Devils.

The fact that Coach K has decided to pull a Larry Bird and field a team that is on par with Aldoph Rupp's younger years is rather entertaining in its own right, but the fact that they picked a movie boys from the hood love to love to represent themselves is downright comical.

Well played, Duke. Well played!

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Way to go Jodie! Oh Wait, That was Brandon Jennings!



You think anyone is regretting passing on Brandon Jennings? The kid who decided to play in Europe is showing that it paid off this season. The kid is flat out blowing up and off to a blazing start for the Bucks.

Check that 29 point 3rd quarter and the best quarter by a rookie since LBJ, and you'll see what I mean!

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Oh, Geez.

>> Monday, November 9, 2009





Folks, if you were like me, you had to believe there would be no-one in the country as annoying as Tyler Hansbrough to grace the hardwood this season. Well, after watching UNC open the season tonight (against the worst D-1 team I have ever seen...mix in Isiah Thomas and FIU may be transitioning back to NAIA), I came to the conclusion that I was terribly wrong.

Meet the Wear Brothers, Travis and David.



Sure, we all heard how completely overrated they were this offseason and none of us were sure what to expect from the two white kids from Mater Dei. Well, it appears they have decided to pattern their game exactly after the Great White Hype, Tyler Hansbrough, himself. Seriously, why the fuck did you do this to us Roy? WHY! Then you decide to let them do the most gay thing possible...wear #34 and #43...HOW CUTE!

So, be prepared for four more years of flopping, tom-foolery and ridiculous facial expressions in Chapel Hill, because Roy (and his spray on tan) apparently like to make us suffer.

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Chubby of the Day...



Mila Kunis....who cares if she dates the guy from Home Alone...

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It's College Basketball Season ALREADY?





Yeah, I know its been a while. I've had shit to do, and I'm not even gonna apologize for having a real life outside of the internet.

However, since its obvious that the commissioners of the BCS conferences are attempting to make sure that no-one crashes their system...I've lost interest in the integrity of college football this season, and thats something I never thought I'd hear myself say. Therefore, I'm turning my attention, for the time being, over to the world of college basketball....

Welcome to the PMB's inaugural TOP 25...

25)Kansas State
24)Minnesota
23)Dayton
22)Louisville
21)Georgia Tech
20)Clemson
19)Mississippi State
18)Washington
17)Ohio State
16)Georgetown
15)Tennessee
14)Oklahoma
13)Butler
12)California
11)Ohio State
10)Duke
9)North Carolina
8)UCONN
7)Purdue
6)Texas
5)Michigan State
4)Villanova
3)West Virginia
2)Kentucky
1)Kansas

Breakdowns of the top 10 teams coming throughout the week :)

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The Dysfunctional Deadskins...

>> Monday, October 26, 2009



I had planned on writing a blog tonight about just how much the ESPN MNF crew misses Emmitt Smith and his butcher of the english language, but I was sidetracked and began watching my Redskins grace national TV with a chance at redemption.

To preface...I have been a Redskins fan my entire life...born and raised on the burgundy and gold. In my 26 years on this earth, I've cheered for Mark Rypien, Gary Clark, Ricky Sanders and Art Monk. I've owned a Charles Mann jersey and even suffered through the Heath Shuler and Steve Spurrier debacles.

I've attempted to support our owner, Dan Snyder, and his ridiculous overpaying of past their prime free agents and his mistreatment of coaches, but this season has caused me to lose all support for this organization outside of the uniform.

As I sit here watching a crack baby attempt to lead this team down the field and watch a halftime score that resembles that of a UK-Florida game...it pains me to even admit that I'm a Skins fan...

As bad as I hate to say it....I'm now on the verge of feeling the same pain that Kris has had to suffer through with the idiocy of Al Davis and the terribleness that is the Oakland Raiders. Yes, this Redskins team is as terribly as the Oakland Raiders.

Ok, I can't believe those words were just typed on my keyboard...I think I'm done for the night.

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........

>> Sunday, October 25, 2009

Random Notes of the week...

OAKLAND SUCKS...thats all I got.

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Chubby of the Day...

>> Tuesday, October 20, 2009





God bless the SEC....courtesy of SEC Poon.

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Even A Dead Man Can't Rest...





We've all experienced the torment of a crazy woman in our life and now Steve McNair, even though his body is six feet deep is currently feeling the wrath of scorned women all over Nashville.

Sure, Stevie was a playa and I'm not condoning his adulterine ways, but is it possible for a woman to keep her damn mouth shut, considering he's dead? Was the cash flow that he put in their broke pockets not enough to suffice...that they now have to defame the deceased athlete even more following his death for a little more change?

Can we not remember Air McNair for what he did on the field?



The leadership qualities he possessed and the talent that blessed his right arm?

I think I'm going to step down off my soapbox now, but to see this bullshit still hitting the news is beyond ridiculous in my mind. How about some skank hoes shut their mouth for five minutes and let the man RIP.

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Chubby of the Day...

>> Monday, October 19, 2009



Olivia Wilde, FTW.

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Guess who's back...back again..

Well, I admit Derrick's post has inspired me to blog tonight and no not his thoughts on college football. It was 100% the picture of Megan Fox. Now I know you find yourself sitting there asking, Kris, how does Megan Fox inspire you to write a sports blog? To which I'll reply, "Who the hell cares? Just scroll down and keep looking at the picture..well after you thoroughly read this blog of course." I do have to throw props out at Derrick for the Mark Morrsion video though, totally ripped off my idea to bring the blog back in style. (Editor's Note: Derrick doesn't even have "Return of the Mack" on his IPOD..it's common knowledge that you can't get a party started without Mark Morrison) Then again, my poor ass doesn't even have an IPOD...so who am I to really judge with my 29.99$ mp3 player?

Okay, since this is a sports blog, I'll hit on a few topics as of late that has peaked my interest.

1st, of course, anyone that knows me, knows I have to brag on my Oakland Raiders for a couple of sentences. The Raiders played lights out yesterday (on defense that is). They are partly the inspiration behind this writting comeback. Now, I think about it, I don't think I have posted since the last time the Raiders won circa 4 weeks ago. I would go into specifics of how the Raiders were dialing up blitzes all afternoon and how that is not part of their normal man to man defense while rushing four d-linemen, but I doubt there are enough readers who actually care about the Raiders.

Next, Welcome back Tom Brady. I am glad you decided to prove a point yesterday and throw for 15 touchdowns in the 2nd quarter alone. My favorite part of all this, is the fact that you did it in a f*cking blizzard.

To rip off ESPN, I have got to hand out a big "C'mon Man" to Jim Zorn and the Washington Redskins. Is anyone else aware that every team the 'Skins have played have been 0 - whatever at the time? How pathetic can you get? To make matters worse, I hear word today that Jim Zorn has been stripped of his play calling duties? Way to give your head coach any type of credibiilty with the players Mr. Snyder. At least there are some teams that are more dysfunctional than the team in Oakland right now.

Speaking of falling off, what has happened to Mark Sanchez? This guy looked like the real deal the first three games of the season. Then all of a sudden, you lose to the Trent Edwards' lead Buffalo Bills? Oh thats right, Edwards went out sometime in the 2nd quarter. I honestly have no idea, who replaced him? I'm glad this is happening, I already can tell I hate Rex Ryan much like I hated his brother Rob. Oh and their dad, Buddy as well. For whatever reason, I have a personal vendetta against the whole Ryan family.

Finally, as I am sitting here typing, I just want to remind the world that I cannot stand Phillip Rivers. He is a whiny bitch. Wait not, he's not a bitch, he's a biatch. Yeah, I just took it gangsta on your ass Phillip. Would someone please tell me why he gets all the credit he gets? I find him to be mediocre at best. He just so happens to have so much talent around him, it makes him look adequate at best.

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The Return of Chubby of the Day...

>> Sunday, October 18, 2009



Seriously, what better way to return to normalcy on this blog..than a picture of Megan Fox...ass up...face down....

Enjoy folks.

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The PMB Returns...



There are times in a man's life when some things are much more important than giving you a sarcastic opinion filled full of bullshit. Recently, not having a heart attack and getting my personal life in order have been a little more important than blogging on a consistent basis. However, I'm pulling my best Mark Morrison impersonation and reentering the game a rejuvenated blogger with a willingness to divulge more time into The PMB.

However, I don't know if the same can be said for my fellow bloggers, Kris and Gary. Kris may still make an occasional appearance, but it appears Gary will no longer be stopping by to give us his weekly diatribes on turf toe and/or the process of being a chubby individual.

So, if you've still been checking back on an occasional basis and our hits #'s seem to think that you have been...thanks for sticking it out during this town time.

Now onto the Sunday thoughts and rants involving college football...and maybe some Charlie Weis humor.

-As a Kentucky Alum its always great to see our team pull out that rare road win. This weekend turned out to be one of the greatest in a long time for Kentucky athletics with Calipari and company opening up with Big Blue Madness and UK knocking off the Auburn Fighting Cheezdiks down in Alabama for the first victory over the War Eagles since 1966. Congrats to the Wildcats!

-The SEC continues to show that it plays for the money on a weekly basis. The absolute atrocity that occurred down in Gainesville, Florida this weekend was a disgrace to college football and a game that is supposed to be decided "by the players." Florida was gift-wrapped a win against Bobby Petrino's crew and is still headed for another SEC championship game appearance. However, don't think the sub-par performance wasn't noticed, because the Crimson Tide is now sitting pretty at #1 in the coaches poll!

-The curse of Charlie Weis and his FUPA continues to dominate action up in South Bend. Seriously, Charlie when are you going to win a big game? I'm going to have start referring to you as the poor man's version of Mark Mangino and I don't want to do that!

Seriously, who you guys got in a male beauty pageant?

Charlie dressed in his ballerina costume...


or Mark Mangino eating some french fries?


I still think Charlie has a much more intimidating FUPA.

Ok, Ok...back on to normal things.

-Who is on the Iowa bandwagon? Nobody....ok, just making sure.

-I've always questioned just how much Jim Calhoun had to pay a player to come to ghetto ass Stoors, Connecticut and now I'm really going to begin questioning his antics. I mean...on what campus in America does a damn football player get STABBED to death. Well, thats exactly what happened on the lovely UCONN campus this weekend. RIP Jasper Howard.

I'll be back with more later and the return of the Chubby of the day!

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I'm A Man...I'M 40!

>> Monday, September 28, 2009





Well, I'm sure most of you enjoyed your college football weekend, while I was busy watching Tim Tebow make the Kentucky Wildcats look like they needed a Mike Gundy pre-game speech. Honestly, I'm starting to believe that Tebow circles the game against the Wildcats to begin his push towards the Heisman trophy. Last year it was a 63-5 shellacking in Gainesville and then the lovely 31 point first quarter this past weekend.

On a side note, UK was able to prove he was human by knocking Tebow the fuck out...



Normally, I wouldn't be cheering a hit that caused an injury, but since Tebow has been determined to have a full bill of health, I'll gladly say that it was nice to see Kentucky actually lay a lick that game...

Enough bullshit about a game that was out of reach before UK put on their cups...let's talk about the rest of the weekend.

--How terrible was Ole Miss on Thursday night? While I agree that USCjr. has a solid defense, Ole Miss looked like they were too busy trying to tap some sorority ass at a Wednesday night mixer. Jevan Snead and his ugly mug are now squarely out of the Heisman race.

--I admit I was wrong by believing that the Alabama Crimson Tide were a little over-rated coming into this season. Nick Saban is flat out getting the job done and the Tide are a real threat to a UF undefeated season when the SEC championship game rolls around.

--Another week comes and another Pac-10 "Power" gets embarrassed. Cal was slowly becoming a media darlin' and then they lay an egg that would make Charlie Weis proud! A 42-3 lambasting at the hands of Emilio Esteves lead Mighty Ducks of Oregon. Jahvid Best joins Jevan Snead in the wannabe Heisman line.

--Ah, the wonderful world of SWVA and the overhyping of Virginia Tech football is once again at an all-time high! They beat a grossly overrated Miami team and all of a sudden they're good enough to win the BCS championship (even though Bama ran roughshed over them and the score could have been much worse). Seriously, Tech fans, enjoy your Orange Bowl appearance against Cincy and quit thinking you can compete with the Florida's of the world. You aren't there, yet.

--Hello Boise, welcome to the party, once again. Boise State's #5 ranking is a very, very big deal because, with a favorable schedule, the boys who play on the blue turf are way ahead of the ranking curve for a BCS busting season. Boise State is most likely going to run the table and you will be seeing the Broncos and their trickery in the Fiesta Bowl.

--I want to personally thank the voters for embarrassing themselves by placing the Washington Huskies in the top 25 last week. They really proved their worth by getting derailed by the Stanford Cardinal. Seriously, quit voting teams in the top 25 because they beat USC. Its ridiculous.

Now time to go watch MNF...and listen to Ron Jaworswki break down all 147 snaps tonight. I'm looking forward to plenty of uses of the telestrator!

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Another glorious weekend of football...

>> Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Well, I haven't posted in a week, so I figured what the hell? First, of course I want to speak about the college team that won the poll to choose my new favorite college team. I would like to thank everyone that voted. There appeared to be like 60+ votes, but in reality, I am sure that it was just a handful of my buddies getting on different computers to vote for their team and really who could blame them? I am like a number 1 draft pick. So, since I have one friend who is a WVU fan, he somehow managed to get 29 votes for Kris Witt to dawn the Blue and Gold of the Mountaineers.

Ironically enough, I went to this friend's house this past weekend to catch my first WVU game of the year in style. Well, after watching the game, this might be a match made in heaven. Jarrett Brown and the Mighty Mountaineers sort of remind me of the college's version of the Jamarcus Russell and the Oakland Raiders.

*Side note - Jamarcus Russell almost nearly makes me racist toward black quarterbacks. Thank god for the McNaab's of the world.

Anywho, while watching WVU turn the ball over 28 times over the course of a 60 minute game, I found myself not giving a shit. I tried and tried to force myself to care that Jarrett Brown was throwing interceptions like he was trying to cover the spread in The Last Boy Scout. I just kept waiting on him to pull out the gun and say "Ain't Life a Bitch?" and shoot one of Auburn's DB's.

So, my first experience as a WVU fan wasn't exactly a pleasant one, but as a Raider's fan I am use to being let down by my teams on the gridiron. We'll see how long this actually lasts. I never specified a length of time for how long I would be a fan of the college football team chosen for me, but I'll struggle to stick it out for a minute.

Now on to the NFL this week,

Well, my Oakland Raiders led by Russell (Who by the way has to be the first person to complete less than 30% of his passes for a whole game and somehow get the win) went from looking great and losing last week to looking terrible and winning this week. That just goes to show you how important turnovers are in games. Kansas City - 2, Oakland - 0. I only mention this because Oakland had like a 100 yards total offense compared to K.C.'s 450 or so. Oh well, we are .500, I'll take it.

Seriously, what is going on with Tom Brady? I didn't draft him in my fantasy league for him to put up Jason Campbell numbers. That might be a stretch, but you get the point. Come on Tom, football is better when you are better. You are the one guy everyone either hates or love.

Speaking of the 'Skins, that defense doesn't appear to be like it is a 100 million dollars better huh? Actually, the D isn't bad, it's Jim Zorn making some of the most ridiculous offensive calls I have ever seen. He makes Art Shell look like f*cking Vince Lombardi. I do appreciate Robert Henson (a back up linebacker for the Redskins) calling out all the fans in D.C. and calling them dimwits working at Mcdonald's from 9 to 5 via Twitter. Thats classic.

I'm always happy when the Steeler's lose for some reason. Ditto for the Cowboys as well. I don't even have a reason to hate either team, I just do.

My not so bold predicition of the week - Adrian Peterson, if healthy, could possibly reach 2,500 yards this year. The guy is a freak. As if you all didn't already know that.

Crazy that Cheddar Bob Burress got 2 years in prison for shooting himself in the leg while Daunte Stallworth got 30 days for riding dirty and killing a person. Doesn't quite seem fair, but what can you do?

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Your Stereotypical Post Saturday Thoughts..

>> Sunday, September 20, 2009





Woah, woah, woah....what's that noise? USC crashing to earth like Michael Moore's fat ass jumping off a diving board! Every year we get the same damn spill about this USC program. "This team has tons of NFL talent and should be a national title contender! They're the best of the best!" Yada, yada, FUCKING yada! Then, every year, we see the same exact thing! A Pete Carroll coached team choking against a subpar and mediocre Pac-10 program! Then the media goes into "bail out mode" and attempts to save this dirty ass program. How did they do that this week folks? Washington, yes WASHINGTON, has now made an appearance in the top 25! Pardon my french, but you have got to be fucking kidding me!

How about this ESPN....quit hyping the damned USC Pete Carrolls until after they play Idaho and avoid a narrow loss, because the rest of us are sick of hearing about it!

Enough of my rant, time for some more thoughts about the weekend!

---My Kentucky Wildcats tried to be slutty and let the dirty birds from the city of Louisville make them willingly grab their ankles in the third quarter yesterday. 3 turnovers in 4 offensive plays for an entire quarter isn't exactly the epitome of offensive efficiency, but a W is a W. Now onto the Tim Tebow's from Gainesville and the thought of being a 4 TD underdog. I just hope Tebow doesn't give one of his pre-game speeches before the game, because of their lackluster performance versus EwwTee.

---A little more SEC love....the SEC now boasts 4 teams in the top 7, including 3 of the 4 in the country, according to the AP poll. It's really becoming unfair for the rest of the country. I mean, Ole Miss is now sitting pretty as the #4 team in the country...OLE MISS. If they continue their rise up the ranks and teams like Auburn and Tennessee make their return to powerhouse statuses...they may as well just hand the Sears Trophy to the SEC Champion every season.

---Am I the only one not sold on Miami being worthy of the #9 ranking in the country? Sure, they've looked pretty good early in the season, and Mr. Harris has been a man at quarterback, but let's not anoint them as a classic "U" program just yet!

---Speaking of quarterbacks, Jake Locker may be the best player you've never seen play. If you get a chance this season, order up a weekend of the college gameday package and watch this kid roll. He's a Tim Tebow lite and does it without any talent around him!

---If you were up late, then you had a chance to watch the best game of the night! Georgia and Arkansas was an offensive shootout and Ryan Mallet and Joe Cox did their best Drew Brees imitation and put up some asinine numbers. Although, I still can't respect a man that looks like a sickly Jeff Garcia, Joe Cox looked like a respectable replacement for Matthew Stafford and his Bama Bangs last night.

---Good call on BYU, Herbie. Seriously, those stormin mormon's really looked like a BCS caliber squad against a mediocre FSU team. Seriously, they let Christian Ponder run through them like he was Charlie Ward in his prime. Pitfiul, pitful performance by the Cougs.

---I'd like to ask my main man, Andy Paul, what exactly Coach Stewart is attempting to do with the WVU program? 41 points to the Auburn Tigers? Don't tell me that Auburn is "that" improved this season. Sure, they're looking much better than Tommy Tuberville's attempt at the spread offense, but their quarterback still has an arm that only Kris would be proud of, and trust me, Kris' has an arm that only a 6 year old would yearn for. So, Andy Paul, what is going on up in Morgantown?

---Last, but not least, my weekly dig at my main man Charlie Weis. I'll let the pictures do the talking!






Time to go enjoy some NFL Sunday Ticket and watch Jim Zorn and Jason Campbell continue to ruin a possible good season.

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God, I love Saturdays...

>> Saturday, September 19, 2009




I know a lot of people hate Tim Tebow, but if that emotion and passion doesn't make you want to run through a wall for him, I don't know what else to tell you...

What game are you watching today?

It's the battle of the bluegrass for me and my fellow Kentucky brethren....

Let's go BIG BLUE!

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Shit Has Hit the Fan...

>> Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Seriously, did Gary just make two posts in one day? The man who has disappeared from the blog like Kanye's dumbass is going to have to disappear for the next six months...actually made two posts in one day!

I just had to comment and say welcome back to The PMB, Gary. We've missed you.

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Turf Toe Tuesday ...

I realize it has been some time since I made a post concerning Turf Toe Tuesday, or any post for that matter. Since today is Tuesday, and I actually have a story concerning a big toe that hit home pretty close, I decided to post a Turf Toe Tuesday blog.

Well I awoke this morning with a sharp pain in my big toe preventing me from walking. As I struggled into work in excruciating pain, I quickly learned I would need to get to a doctor before I could receive any relief. Following the doctor's examination, I was quickly diagnosed with gout, which is similar to turf toe pain according to the doctor. I had to wonder if karma was biting me in the ass since I had poked fun at athletes with turf toe. Just any interesting thought for a Tuesday ....

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Daily Humor ...

Courtesy of my good friend Josh ...



I love the white boy dance ...

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Stevie Wouldn't Have Let That Happen...

>> Monday, September 14, 2009





Well, folks, that is why the Buffalo Bills are, well, the Buffalo Bills.

You're up 24-19 at the two-minute warning and then you're dumbass special teamer thinks he needs to bring it out of the end zone? Maybe if you had made The PMB's favorite receiver, Stevie Johnson, active tonight...he would have offered some of his superior football intellect to your coaches and informed them that they MUST kneel the ball if it reaches the endzone.

Better yet, if Stevie was active the Bills would have scored at least two more touchdowns and we would have had the pleasure of seeing the Fly-Guy dominate Brady's bitches.

Smart move, Dick Jauron.

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Solid Start to the season...






So the NFL kicked off this weekend and I couldn't be any happier. Sunday's rundown of games did not dissappoint. There were some crazy individual stats going on yesterday. Who would have predicted Joe Flacco would throw for over 300 yards? I mean really he came from Deleware people...Delaware. The state matters so much that I'm not even going to look up how to spell it correctly, but instead just spell it two different ways and hope I nailed it in one of them. Thats just scratching the surface on the craziness that is opening weekend in the NFL.

As a life long Oakland Raider fan, I will admit that there are times that I think the NFL is out to get the Raiders (Call it the Al Davis in me if you will), but I think there might be one team that just has the worst luck of any organization in professional sports. You already have to know who I am referring too, the poor Cincinatti Bengals. Seriously, who the hell gets beat on a 87 yard touchdown with 11 seconds left in the game on a tipped pass? Only the Bengals. What makes this worse? It was a white reciever. A white reciever torched the Bengals D for 87 yards on one play? I can't help but giggle a little.

Next up, when did Drew Brees decide he was going to be All World? 6 touchdowns? Luckily for me, the guy I'm playing in fantasy football this week just so happens to have Mr. Brees and his ridiculous 49 fantasy points. Unluckily for him, I just so happen to have Mr. All Day Adrian Peterson on my squad who off set Brees ridiculous performance with 180 yards and 3 tds himself

Other notes-

The Panthers better do something at qb spot, Jake just isn't getting it done, I don't care how much money they threw at him this summer. The guy has like 15 turnovers in his last 8 quarters played (That may not be accurate at all, but it's got to be damn close).

Arizona will hit the wall that every team hits after losing a superbowl. Come on, you lost to the Nazi driven San Fransico 49er's led by Shaun Hill...yes that same Shaun Hill that you have never heard of..

Brady Quinn sucks

As do the rest of the Browns...I hope they play the Lions this year..that could be like watching a single A highschool football game (minus Calvin Johnson of course, bless his soul...he doesn't deserve to live in football purgatory).

I fully expect Tom Brady to go All Madden again and put up 80 touchdowns and 4,000,000 million yards again this year. The kicker is, he'll be doing this why banging 3 super models, and feeding a third world country.

Almost forgot, big shout out to Andy Austin calling Steve Slaton a pro bowl back this year. He came out strong with a respectable 17 yards rushing yesterday.


Predictions for tonight?
Pats win but it's closer than what you might think. Never bet against Tom Brady though.

The Raiders take an AFC West division lead tonight, upsetting the Chargers. Another prediction, Phillip Rivers gets into a screaming match with 3 fans and a Raiderette before the third quarter is over.

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The Usual Sunday College Football Thoughts...

>> Sunday, September 13, 2009



Well, what appeared on paper to be a rather tame weekend of college football escalated and turned out to be a rather enjoyable Saturday (and Friday if you were one of the lucky few to watch Colorado's ineptitude against a terrible Toledo squad. Seriously, how can you be that bad!). So, once again, here are this playmaker's observations from the weekend.

Well, Tennessee, it's good to see that "you're back!" After your shellacking of WKU, the VOL nation was running amuck among message boards across the country claiming their dominance. Well, congrats on losing to one of the worst teams the Pac-10 has to offer this season. I think Fat Phil could have put forth a better effort than Lane today.

Glad to see Charlie Weiss attempted to pull some plays out of his front butt and blew a possible W against Michigan. Poor Charlie! I think its time he accepts his true calling as a manager of Pal's Drive Thru and lets someone else attempt the Notre Dame reclamation project. On a side note, its a shame that Uncle Lou's national championship pick falls to the wayside after week 2!

Tim Tebow is pretty good. Ok, he's really, really good.

Mike Gundy...whom is famous for this video..



..apparently lacked that same fire in his pre-game speech for OSU-Houston on Saturday. The defense got gashed worse than Pam Anderson's va-jay-jay following the VMAs, and once again proved that the Big 12 will struggle to win a national championship until they instill some form of defensive will within their conference.

The Ol' Ball Coach is still struggling to garner that marquee win down in Columbia. One has to wonder how much longer Spurrier will deal with this losing before he decides its time to wear a visor that says Titlelist 24-7, instead of one that represents the Cocks.

Who wouldn't want to play for Pete Carroll? Not only does he provide you with rent money, but he may be the most in-touch 50+ year old coach in the business. With that, I say congrats to Mr. Carroll and the Trojans for putting an early L in the column for the slow, white-boys from Columbus. Hopefully, we don't have to hear their name mentioned with the BCS championship anymore this season.

Is there an uglier uniform in football than this atrocity?

Good god....shit brown and baby poop yellow are not a good combination.

One last thing....is there a team who wastes more talent than the Clemson Tigers? Seriously, they're stacked with 4 and 5 star recruits throughout their roster, but it never seems to translate to the field. I feel for my buddy Wesley and his undying passion for a program that is on par with the Oakland Raiders at developing talent.

Time to go watch Matt Forte rack up some fantasy points for me...be back tomorrow with some NFL thoughts and the terribleness that is my Washington Redskins.

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Worst Performance Ever?

>> Thursday, September 10, 2009





Okay, so the most successful professional sport can do no better than that garbage I just saw?

Did they not put Fergie and her man face through some sort of "practice," that would have allowed them to determine that the BEP are, to put it bluntly, FUCKING TERRIBLE!

Now I'm being put through the torture of Tim McGraw and his 67 year old, coke-snorting, cigarette smoking ass attempt to sing like its 1992 and somebody took his girl from him.

Disappointing, to say the least. Man up NFL.

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Dirty...

>> Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Sometimes you got to post a nasty dunk that you have never seen before...this one was a first...occured at London's Midnight Madness last night by a guy that goes by Guy Dupuy

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Daily Humor....

>> Tuesday, September 8, 2009



Get 'em, Bernie.

RIP.

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Don't Forget...

Hey guys....don't forget to support your Collegiate and NFL allegiance and represent The PMB at the same time! We have tons of shirts to choose from on The PMB's store! We'll customize to your liking, as well!

Hope everyone had a great labor day weekend...

*One other thing...we're going to be taking a different format with the blog from here on out. No more boring link clicks and recapping bullshit stories that bore the hell out of the readers, as well as the bloggers.

Expect more of our sarcastic and bull-shit filled opinions on whatever the hell we feel like talking about....so no more deadspinesque crap...

Feel free to join in on the conversation in the comments section...we enjoy it.

Thanks,
Derrick

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Chubby of the Day...



Shewwwweee!

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Weekend Highlights ...

>> Monday, September 7, 2009







College football is finally back in session and what a great weekend to kickoff the 2009-2010 season. Kickoff weekend gave us a preview of what is expected during this years college football season by showcasing upsets, punches to the face and utter dominance by various teams. A few of my thoughts on the weekend:

- I am already tired of listening and watching Lou Holtz spit all over everybody.

- The SEC is clearly the most dominate college football conference in the NCAA.

- Ohio State is overrated.

- Tyrod Taylor is terrible. He finished 9/20 for 91 yards. That just doesn't cut it if Va. Tech plans to win many ball games. Tech's defense wasn't much better after giving up 500 total yards compared to their 155. The game shouldn't have been as close as the score.

- The good news for the Sooners is Bradford does not have to undergo surgery and is expected back between 2 to 4 weeks.

- Tim Tebow and the Florida Gators are going to be tough for any one team to handle.

- UT looked like UT of old and might be a big time force to shake up the SEC, along with Mississippi.

- Miami and FSU is actually a rather exciting game.

We will have more early in the week ...

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Some Thoughts From the Weekend...



While Kris sits back and complains about the complexity of determining a college football team with whom to bandwagon, those of us with an affiliation and an affection for college football we're blessed with an excellent opening weekend (On a side note, please vote for remaining a Duke fan for Kris. I never understood the concept of having "two favorite teams." Typically, those teams end up being the best of the best during your childhood that you chose bandwagon. Therefore, for Kris to be a loyal fan, he should have to support the Dukies.)

Some thoughts from the weekend...

I'll start off with the maturation process of Kentucky's starting quarterback, Mike Hartline. Hartline was a lightning rod for criticism, and deservedly so. However, and yes I know it was just Miami of Ohio, we saw a completely different product on the field with Hartline on Saturady in the 42-0 shutout. If Hartline continues his aggressive maturation, UK has a chance to run through murderer's row (Florida, Bama, @South Carolina, @Auburn) with a 2-2 run.

Seriously, let's get this out of the way. How damn terrible is the ACC? UVA drops a barn burner to the powerful Tribe of William and Mary and Kris' Dukies take a beat down from Richmond. C'mon, W&M and Richmond? Al Groh better get that resume updated. Also, I predicted Virginia Tech to have an excellent season and following their loss to 'Bama, I still think they are the favorite in the ACC, even if they had no business being in that ball game.

Did anyone else have the pleasure of seeing the exclusive look at Tim Tebow's halftime speech from the National Championship game? I know a lot of people hate on Tim Tebow, and that includes myself, but I would run through a damn brick wall or let him talk me into going hoggin' at the local watering hole with his motivational prowess.

What a bad break for Boomer Sooner and company this weekend. First, you lose your star qb for a month or longer and then you lose to the stormin' mormon's from Provo to derail your national championship dreams. While there is still a possibility of a turnaround, Norman, Oklahoma has to be in heartbreak this weekend.

Is Jimmy Clausen finally going to become the real deal at quarterback? Sure seemed that way against an overmatched Nevada squad. Although, Charlie Weiss and his FUPA could have thrown for about 225 yards and 2 TD's against that paltry defense.

Bobby Bowden continues his quest to see who will be the first to die on the football field, him or Joe Pa. Bowden is at least 247 years old and that Florida sun has done a number on his complexion, but he appears to have a solid team this season. While, Randy Shannon and Miami continue their ascent back from mediocrity. Who you got tonight?

We'll have more later tonight and plenty this week. God, its great to have football back.

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A Sobering Experience...

>> Sunday, September 6, 2009






Living in Southwest VA, it is almost an understood notion to be a Virginia Tech football fan. Well this guy is not. I actually cringe a little anytime I see the fall colors of orange and brown on a football jersey. Is it because I personally hate Frank Beamer's neck and the Hokies that bad or is it because those are just hideous colors for a college team? I think maybe it's a little of both.

While attending a cookout last night at Dirty Birds (Brrrrrrrrrr, there is your shout out for being a consistent reader Rico), I realized during the game that I had no passion cheering or booing either team in the contest. I honestly couldn't give a shit whether Alabama or Tech won the football game. I was actually more interested in firing up Guitar Hero 5 whenever the game went off. Which is sad since I am not even that big of a fan of Guitar Hero, but the actual football game was boring me, even though it was obviously an exciting game to everyone else in the room.

I've decided the real problem here is I have no passion about college football because I do not have any team to cheer for. I've been a diehard Duke basketball fan for circa 15 years now, but lets be real, their football program has been without for awhile now. I tip my cap to the Bluedevils yesterday for putting up an awesome effort against Richmond yesterday and playing them within 10 points at least.

So what does all of this pointless ranting mean? It means I am letting the 6 loyal readers (which includes the other 2 bloggers) of The PMB choose my college football team. I have tried to pick out another college to be loyal too, not named Duke and I have failed miserably. So I figure by letting the readers choose my team, then I will stick with it. I mean I am here to make the readers happy, well thats when I actually decide to sign in and post.

So with that being said, vote on the poll for which college football team you think I should pull for and I will give the team that wins my undying allegiance. Even if the only 3 votes come from fellow Bloggers Derrick and Gary, and possibly Varney or Jerry.

So be on the lookout for the poll that will be located on the right side of this post and cast your vote. There has to be at least 10 votes before I'll take this commitment serious.

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LeGarrette Blount Will Knock Your Ass Out...

>> Friday, September 4, 2009



What can I say, don't talk shit to him after the game or he'll go Brock Lesnar on your ass and knock you the fuck out!

Seriously, I had no idea I was going to get to see a guy go Floyd Mayweather on a bitch at the end of the game!

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Poor Lou...

>> Thursday, September 3, 2009



Is that right, Lou? Notre Dame to play in the national championship game? HOW IN THE HELL CAN ESPN PAY YOU TO DO THIS JOB?

Why can't you be like Jay Bilas and leave your biased opinions for when you're rocking your old school Notre Dame hoodie? Honestly, your lisp is a poor man's version of my friend Josh's, anyway...and I no longer find yours to be entertaining or comical.

Get off my TV screen, immediately.

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Did I Mention I Love College Football...





As I sit here in my recliner, rockin my boxers and nothing else and watching the South Carolina and N.C. State game, it just hit me, "Damn, I'm glad football is finally back!" It has been the most boring sports summer that I can remember in my 20+ years of following sports.

Baseball bores me worse than a fat piece of vagina trying to hit on me while eating a Wendy's triple classic, Tiger Woods putting has been as clutch as Gary on a Saturday night bourbon drinking fest, and who the hell gives a damn that MIchael Phelps smoked some ganja with some college kids. I'd rather watch Steve Spurrier throw his visor 17 times in one game, while his team is struggling in a 7-3 ball game any day of the week!

I hope all of you football fanatics are as stoked as I am that college football is back in the spotlight....enjoy Boise State and Oregon putting up some ridiculous numbers and drink plenty of bourbon throughout the weekend, because it's cause for a celebration, folks. The days of watching Bear Grylls kill an alligator and eat a snake instead of watching some prime-time athletes knock the shit out of each other is finally out the window!

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PacMan to Make it Rain in the CFL....

>> Tuesday, September 1, 2009



Apparently, the CFL's Winnipeg Blue Bombers are desperate for some publicity. That is the only explanation for a franchise that is willing to pay Pac Man Jones any semblance of a paycheck, and they have agreed to do so by outbidding several of the upcoming UFL franchises.

Pac Man's NFL career has pretty much been flushed down the drain, along with any integrity he had following his strip club antics and many expected his dumbass to never grace the green again, but I guess everyone gets 78 chances.

So, if you want to check out Pac Man Jones make it rain over Winnipeg, I suggest purchasing one of those illegal Canadian satellites and enjoy some football on a 110 yard field.

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I've changed my mind..





So I have recently hated on Brett Favre for coming back to the NFL again and stealing all the spotlight away from anything else going on in the NFL. I know that fellow blogger, Derrick, has a deep hatred for number 4 himself. Then something happened last night, that made me totally sell out (which I've been known to do) for the Brett Favre comeback tour.

I think if anyone watched the game last night, then they know the play that I am referring too. How could any football fan not sell out when they saw Brett lay a low chop block on a linebacker when his running back cut back towards him? I know it was a debatable dirty hit, but who cares? It's a 40 year old man out there laying his body on the line during a preseason game. Not the playoffs, a f'n preseason game.

This man may love the spotlight (and he does), but he loves the game of football as well. So now I say, keep playing Brett, you only have one life to live on this Earth and if this is what you enjoy doing, then do it. You are obviously still better than 80% of the qaurterbacks starting in the league today.

And who knows? Oh Brett and the Viking's defense may lead them right into a superbowl come February.

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Chubby of the Day...

>> Monday, August 31, 2009



Say hello to Whitney...

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Smart Move, Broncos...



You think Josh McDaniels is regretting his decision now? You think his pompous ass still believes he is such a "bad-ass" coach that he can win without a franchise quarterback?

Cutler absolutely lit the Broncos up ass up last night, and I know it was a pre-season game, but both Cutler and the Broncos had something to prove! While Cutler was going 15-21 and close to 150 yards, Kyle Orton (yes, the man that McDaniels "wanted") was crying on the sidelines with a gash in his finger and a paltry 66.2 passer rating for the pre-season.

So, now the Bears have a franchise quarterback for the future and, well, McDaniels and the Broncos have Kyle Orton.

So, McDaniels, are you still happy with your decision?

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Chubby of the Day...

>> Thursday, August 27, 2009





If you're a fan of Ricky Bobby, you'll remember Carly!

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Oh, Billy Clyde...





Oh, Billy Clyde.....remember when the entire Kentucky fan base was at your mercy? Remember that wonderful press conference where you made all of us Kentucky basketball fans, including me, believe that you were the savior and the proper choice for our program?

My how things have changed so quickly for your bourbon guzzling, tail-chasing, obnoxious ass. I mean, literally, how stupid can you possibly be??? You do realize that the entire state of Kentucky hates your crazy ass, right? Yet, you chose to drive drunk at 2:45 in the morning 30 miles outside of Lexington? HAHAH! No, really, you didn't did you?

What's that? You told them you hadn't been drinking, but you and your buddy had been playing golf and that's why you swerved and sat at a red-light for 2 minutes? Golf??? C'mon, really, you didn't say that did you? Oh wait, you must have been taking a swim in the fountain at the golf course and gotten confused like you did at the Campbell House!

I mean, the man in the picture I posted above certainly looks way too smart to tell a police officer that he was golfing after midnight!

Ok, who am I kidding, that picture looks eerily similar to the same dumbass who was cruising on the wrong side of the road in Texas El-Paso, Ron White style. Except, it appears he's missing a tooth. Maybe that was an injury that he received from attempting to play "golf" at night, or maybe some good ol' boy from down in Eastern Kentucky decided it was time Billy Clyde met his pissed off momma, whom loves the Cats more than anybody in Pike County.

Honestly, the stupidity of this whole situation leads me to believe that BCG has a learning disability. We all have heard the stories of his drinking problems and how the UK umbrella saved his sorry ass several times, but to go get hammered ass drunk and drive while you're in town for SETTLEMENT negotiations has raised your idiocy to an all-time high!

UK thanks you Billy Clyde, UK fans thank you, and most of all, anyone that ever had any aspirations of giving your retarded ass another opportunity to coach their team thanks you!

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Bill's Bogus Journey





Billy Gillispie was arrested for yet another DUI around 2:30 this morning. I mean if Bill hasn't brought enough bad press on himself with all the reports coming out from Kentucky, he then goes and decides that it's fine to drink and drive.

Then again, why wouldn't he? He doesn't have much else to lose I suppose other than the 6 million dollars he's sueing the University of Kentucky for. Which I doubt he will ever see a penny of.

Oh well, maybe this guy wasn't the savior that one blogger Derrick claimed him to be just two short years ago. Instead, he is a glorified drunk. I suppose it could be worse, he could have raped a girl and then forced her into an abortion.

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