Why I hate Duke...and why you should too...

>> Sunday, May 17, 2009




Is there a more despised team in the country than the Blue Devils of Duke? Arrogance, elitism, a student fan base who has less knowledge about basketball than my blind grandma with hammer toe are all reasons that bring forth the disdain towards the Blue Devil program.

I present to you, The PlayMakers ten reasons to hate Duke Basketball:

10)WOJO



The epitome of the annoying Duke point guard. Bobby Hurley started the tradition, but Wojo took it to the next level. Undersized, outclassed talent wise, flopper and attitude galore...Wojo brings forth a hate that cannot be understated. If I were a current Duke player and he slapped the floor while scrimmaging...I'd probably be forced to kick him directly in the junk.

9)Dick Vitale



I used to respect you, Dick. I used to enjoy you calling a game...Until you decided to practically only call Duke games and become a bigger homer than Berman for the Buffalo Bills.

Your drool fest with Coach K is beyond sickening and the Duke tangents that you start on when calling another game is disrespectful, disgusting and nauseating. Retire, Dick....call it a day.

8)Calls



Seriously, that's not a walk? I could probably take the time to post 50 youtube videos, but I believe I will leave it at that.

7)Mike Patrick



If there is one person in the media that surpasses Dookie V. in his undying love for Duke, it is the ACC homer Mike Patrick. Patrick only calls ACC basketball games and the occasional lacrosse championship these days and his ridiculous man crush on J.J. Redick goes above and beyond being a fan. Actually, I believe Patrick waits on J.J. after his Magic games for a full body rubdown.

6)J.J. Redick



Ah, J.J.. Sure you can shoot the ball and I'm extremely surprised at your moderate success in the NBA. However, the moment your pot smoking incident was swept under the table, I began to dislike you. I don't like your bacne....I don't like your hand gestures and I surely can't stand your whining.

Outside of Tyler Hansbrough, you're the easiest person for me to dislike in the past decade.

5)You're Mascot



What exactly is a Blue Devil? Isn't the devil supposed to be red? I guess ghetto ass Durham is the only place you can find a BLUE devil.

4)Cameron Crazies



Hey, lets find a college to send all the unathletic, nerdy kids for school. We can then let them paint their bodies and make up asinine cheers for their beloved school. They'll have zero knowledge of the sport that they're cheering for, but they will really want to make you believe they are brilliant basketball minds.

Enter Cameron Indoor Stadium on an ACC Wednesday and you'll see several thousand of the above mentioned persona. Nauseating. On top of all that, I've never seen a single hot girl as a Cameron Crazy...

3)Squeaky Clean image



According to the media, Duke basketball is above cheating. They would never buy a house for Chris Duhon's mother or find places of employment for parents of big time recruits. Please. Coach K is just as dirty as the other coach 9 miles down the road.

2)Christian Laettner



You're not gay, right? HA!

I wish Timberlake would have ripped your head off when you stepped on his chest in 1992. I give you credit...you're one of the best college basketball players to ever play the game, but as a Kentucky fan...I will never, ever forgive you for 1992. I was tired of you're stupid new commercial after seeing two seconds of it and I'm so glad I don't have to see on the NBA hardwood anymore.

Slide into oblivion, Christian. Just stay away.


1)Mike Krzyzewski

Ol' Rat Face....Whether you're cursing at the officials or crying in Patrick Patterson's living room...you never cease to amaze. I do believe my favorite moment was the "alleged" fainting episode.



I don't really consider that fainting...It looked more like he was extremely tired and needed a nap.

The greatest moment in Coach K's career? His wonderful Jeff Capel lead team that he left hanging because he had hip/back issues. Sure, it wasn't because the team was going to be terrible and Coach K didn't want the losing record on his resume.

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Is Superboy ready to become Superman?





Natural ability, high flying athleticism, ridiculous dunks (like the one above)and a calm demeanor all describe the basketball player known as Dwight Howard.

However, Dwight has, at least early in his career, lacked that killer instinct. He's been more like that mean Rottweiler next door that has a loud bark but lacking on the bite.

These playoffs alone we have seen Howard try to knock Samuel Dalembert's head to the other end of the court and proceed to call out his coach Stan Van Gundy(how the hell did the Van Gundy's make it to the pinnacle of basketball coaching).

Maybe, just maybe, Howard is making the leap to the next level.

Win a game 7 in Boston against the defending champions today and then we can truly call you the new Superman.

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So he is human...





I have never been one to get into the Olympics other than the basketball portion of it until this past summer. So, what is it that made me glued to my television this past summer cheering on the Americans like I was Will Ferrell as a Spartan cheerleader? Michael Phelps. Every American loved this guy a year ago.

There is no doubt that Phelps was constructed by a higher power to be an Olympic champion swimmer. This guy is a freak. He is to swimming what Lebron James is to basketball right now. When they are on television, you cannot keep your eyes off them.

Yesterday, Michael Phelps did something I wasn't aware that he could do, lose. I understand this was the 100 meters backstroke and he didn't compete in this event at the last Olympics, but come on its Phelps, he's not supposed to lose to anyone. I am just hoping Phelps is one of these guys that steps up in clutch situations. He's got three more years to get this backstroke down though, so no worries just yet.

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