>> Monday, March 29, 2010
Greg Ostertag, pictured above, has declared himself eligible for the 2010 NBA Draft. I know, I know! I realize this is hard to believe, since he's been out of the league for a while, but it's true.
What nobody realized was that Ostertag had actually RETURNED to Lawrence, KS under a new alias.
After failing in the NBA, Ostertag had one thing on his mind. He was going to use Kansas to help his career and reputation. A reputation that was a mirror image of another "country farm-boy" flame out, Bryant Reeves. That isn't exactly the kind of player that most great athletes, such as Ostertag, would strive to emulate. Much less be compared to him ad nauseam by water cooler bloggers and old Fleer basketball card collectors.
I realize that I've left you hanging long enough, and you're now saying to yourself, "What the hell is Derrick thinking? Greg Ostertag at Kansas? Who the hell on the Kansas roster could possibly be Greg Ostertag?"
That player, you ask? None other than, Cole Aldrich.
Sure, I know this is hard for all of you Kansas fans and other college basketball fans to fathom, However, a little face-lift, some work on the nose, and "lose a tooth" for good measure, and boom, you have Greg Ostertag. Greg Ostertag reincarnated in the Jayhawks uniform under the name, Cole Aldrich.
Just think about all the similarities. Big, goofy, buzz cut, whiter than that guy from the dodge-hemi commercials, and a terrible basketball player and then, BOOM, you realize. Shit, that really is Greg Ostertag.
Good luck, Greg. Let's hope your second go-around is better than your first!